HAS
KIRK GONE CRAZY?
YES! AND HE CAN'T SING
By LINDA STASI
WHY can't you ever find a Vulcan when you need
one?
Clearly, Captain Kirk has become totally
illogical, or maybe it's just that William Shatner has finally
flipped that giant wig of his.
What else could explain the fact that the
once proud captain of the Starship Enterprise has chosen
(presumably of his own free will) to rap -- yes, rap yet! --
to the 1970's CB trucker hit, "Convoy" (among other
tragic song choices) for Priceline.com.
On TV. In front of everybody. On constantly
running commercials.
In case you haven't seen the ads--and it's
easier to avoid Martha Stewart than to miss them--let me
explain.
For reasons I hope never to understand,
William Shatner, dressed in leather jacket and jeans, and
looking like a cross between The Boss and the man from The
Men's Warehouse, "sings" and "raps" to a
hip audience in what's supposed to be a smoky downtown night
spot.
Or maybe it's an alternate universe.
All I can actually figure is that Shatner
seems to be trying to make a comeback of his giant floppola
career as a rock ‘n' roller. Yes, once in 1968, Shatner made
a rock album that crashed faster than an uncloaked Klingon
vessel. It was called "The Transformed Man."
It would have been easier to transform
himself into a rabbit than to transform himself into a rocker.
And more believable, too.
Therefore (I guess) the commercials
Shatner's done for Priceline.com are supposed to be geared
towards the hippest of the hip. Or maybe they're for weirdo's
with no life.
I mean, aren't terminally hip people like
too busy dating Kate Moss to login to Priceline.com and
attempt to buy Clorox cheap?
All I know is I haven't been this
embarrassed to be a human since Ed McMahon sang "Georgie
Girl," George Burns rapped "A Little Help From My
Friends," Leonard Nimoy croaked "Proud Mary,"
Bing Crosby crooned "Hey Jude," and Frank Sinatra
thought it was a good idea to sing/talk "Bang Bang She
Shot Me Down."
Me? I would rather have voluntarily taken my
own life than to live with the knowledge that one single copy
remained anywhere in the world.
But hey, Shatner not only has no shame, he's
making a profit off it.
Maybe the suits at Priceline.com are right
about these ads. If so, it can't be long before the prices of
Clorox, Twizzlers and Fruit Loops drop right through the
freaking floor!
Shatner's
rendition of "Lucy in the Sky"
Shatner's
rendition of "Mr. Tambourine Man"
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