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The Freedom Forum The ThinkerFrom: Carl Bergmann Comments"The Thinker" It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax", I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunch time so I could read Thoreau and Kafta. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with my boss. "Honey", I confessed, "I've been thinking........" I know you've been thinking, she said, "and I want a divorce". "But honey, surely it's not that serious". "It is serious", she said, lower lip a-quiver. "You think as much as university professors, and university professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism", I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors...they didn't open. The library was closed. To this day I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling grass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?", it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers' Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today; a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video. Last week it was "Porkey's". Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed....easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. Author Unknown ______ Last changed: March 04, 2008
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